Daily writing prompt
What are your biggest challenges?
My biggest challenge for most of my life has been my inability to stay consistent with my goals. In recent years, since getting sober, I have been able to push myself through some of the resistance. Ultimately, I didn’t see a huge transformation with it until I received my ADHD diagnosis. Everything suddenly took off.
My creative journaling practice, my writing, and finally a movement practice have all become staples in my everyday life. I am so grateful. I am working through some of the grief, anger and loss that have come with realizing I have been trying to hold myself to unrealistic standards most of my life. Growing up with undiagnosed ADHD didn’t look difficult on the surface (I was labeled a gifted kid) but it was exhausting, and all fell apart once I went to college and no longer had the stability I grew up with.
It is hard to acknowledge that had I known this about myself, so much could have been different. Perhaps I wouldn’t have signed over years of my life to alcoholism. Perhaps I wouldn’t have flunked out of college. Maybe I would have cared for my body as the sacred vessel that it is.
I am sitting with these complex feelings, and often process them as I sit with my art journal, because I know that I must feel them, and let them go. It is not helpful to hang on to this longing for times past. All I can do is manage my life as it is happening right now. And right now, I am pretty proud of how far I have come.